How do I deal with the feeling of shame I have because I lost my job?

Shame is that icky, uncomfortable, embarrassed feeling we get when we feel like we’ve done something wrong. Unlike the healthy emotions that you should let flow as much as possible, staying in shame isn’t healthy and it only blocks your energy flow.

When you recognize the icky feeling of shame, look for the judgment behind it.

For example, you may judge yourself as being in adequate or bad at your work because you lost your job. If the judgment is that you are bad at your work, step back and change your perspective.

Find a new message to replace the unhealthy judgment. This new message will be nonjudgmental, regenerative, and something you can believe in, if only for a moment at first.

A new message may be, “I’m not bad at my work. As I step back and look at the big picture of the situation in my company, I see that my way of doing my work didn’t fit with my employer’s. But when I think about it, I’m proud of the way I did my job. I realize that we have different values and although it’s scary to think about having to look for another job, the situation was not a healthy one for me. Actually losing my job is probably a blessing in disguise. I was wasting a lot of energy trying to fit into a situation that wasn’t right for me. It may be a struggle for a while, but I’ll find a better situation next time.”

As you’re repeating your new message, feel all the healthy emotions that are triggered, including your anger, sadness, and fear.

Remember that feeling uncomfortable emotions is just as important as feeling the happy ones. As long as you don’t hurt yourself or other people as you’re feeling them, they are important for your forward movement in your life.

It will take some time to feel your emotions and review your new messages. But you’ll start to hear your intuition more clearly, and you’ll be able to take the best next step for your career.